Living as a Transgendered Adult
How Transgenderism Affects Self-Esteem and Lifestyle
According to APA Online, “Transgender can be denied housing or employment, lose custody of their children, or have difficulty achieving legal recognition of their marriages. Many transgender people are the targets of hate crimes. The widespread nature of discrimination can cause transgender people to feel unsafe or ashamed, even when they are not directly victimized.”
Question: How has transgenderism affected your adult life?
Jane: I bear some hatred towards my mother, for her attitudes and turning me into more of a girl than I already was. I hate the way society looks down on us; I hate the lack of employment that we face as transvestites. I hate the amount of drugs that I have taken. I hated having sex with other males to feed myself. That has left a big emotional scar that I don’t think ill ever get over. I don’t really blame too many people any more for my life, which is good. I can now talk to my family
I can’t complain about the money now that I’ve gotten out of prostitution and just do escorts and give advice to men that want to cross-dress. I’ve been drug free for 3 years and no longer lowering myself to having sex for money. My self esteem is rising and I’ve started to live a normal life. I am a transvestite and that is the way the world is.
Shame, fear and loneliness find expression in thought with such questions as, “Would my best friends, workmates, family, father/mother, wife/partner and my children still want me and love me if they knew this part of me or would they reject me with scorn or fear”? My biggest concern now to me as an adult has been to come to terms of who I am.
Deidre: At age 17, I hid my girly side for 5 years to well after I was married. The urges proved too strong for me and proceeded to come out. There was just no way to suppress the urges so I broke the news to my wife at the time. She accepted this fact with little problem so the next few years were great but then she started cheating so I left her. I have been friends with lesbians, friends with gays and also did male escorting where there was no sex involved. Believe it or not there’s a big call for transvestite escorts in this world. Money is great but again with anything there’s a risk involved.
I actually forgot a lot of my childhood for 40 years, but was seeing a counselor for other things. Through hypnosis, it just happened to make me remember my sister’s control and my years as a prostitute. I knew I liked to dress but didn’t know why.
Question: Would you ever considering changing your lifestyle?
Jane: You know I’ve thought about that for a lot of years, and no I don’t believe there is anything that I would want to change. I like what I do; I like helping and educating people on the subject, and most of all I got something that most men will never have. I have the ability to think as a woman or man and to share both the feelings. I believe if more people could share them; this world would be a more understanding and better place.
Deidre: Growing up as both a girl and a boy, I believe it has made me a better person. Yes I still wear a skirt or female under garments, but I see the world in a different light. Because I grew up transgender, I have never once yelled or touched a lady in hatred. I believe I’m a far better person. And no, I would not want to stop wearing a dress. I am proud of who I am and I think if more people in the world were proud of themselves, the world would be a better place to be.
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